00:00:01 Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, welcome episode number thirty five of The Hunting Collective. And of course I'm Ben O'Brien, and this week we are in Bozeman, Montana on a Saturday afternoon in the Mediator Offices, the lovely brand new Mediator Offices full of plastic tables and no office furniture, and I'm hanging out with our new associate editor, Morgan Mason. And Morgan came to this company from gear Junkie and moreover from Wakefield, Kansas as a small town farm kid who's got a pretty badass story to tell us about joining the army, headed to Iraq, coming back and spending time outside and then finally, after many years, find his way to this company and it will be creating some content alongside this podcast and others for all of you, so hopefully you enjoy that. So, without further ado basin Morgan, Yes, sir, what's going on man? Not too much, just packing up, getting ready to hit the road. That's right, that's right. I'd like to start podcasts off with people you like, describe your surroundings. Normally the surroundings are way more exciting than their current surroundings. But still, I think a lot of people are interested in where we are learning about it to give your best pros describing where we are. We are in the Canary District in Bozeman, Montana. In our offices. Don't give out any addresses because people want to come in and there all the women are gonna want to come especially with these dogs laying around like continue anyways down here in our office in our corner that they stuffed us in the editorial team, you know, and just hanging out at our fancy tables. Yeah, there are plastic tables and they came probably from Target and they probably cost about yep. When you're a startup, that's kind of how it goes. That's life. Yeah, that's startup life, and that's what we are. Um. But we have two dogs laying sleeping under these plastic tables. Puppies by the name of Arlow and by the name Opinion Opinion, being the office dog. He's claimed it. Tell us about tell us about Opinion. So the Opinion is a wire hair pointing grayfawn that I picked up in June and he is my little bird dog, amigo. So he just got him trained up and we're gonna hit the road here pretty soon. And head back to my home state of Kansas and go chase birds around. And I've got his brother, Arlow from the same litter that I'm dropping off with my brother, So we're gonna go take these little hooligans out and chase quail around out there. Dude, these wire hairs are just like they come in here and they just sleep. And if if a fucking quail wandered into this office, ship would erupt, it would erupt. And I wish if we were in a situation where a quail would wander in to our office. I watched Opinion down at the front windows looking at a little tweet bird and almost getting ready to blast through. That's a good dog. I imagine we should talk about because you know, you and I both work for this company, right, so, but it's early on, so we have an opportunity to shape some things, primarily in this case what the office looks like, but also what's in it. Yeah, I have a pretty gnarly case of a d D when it comes to work, Like I don't have a d D in any other person in my life, and then when I'm working, I always want to be doing something else. So I have a d D. We currently have a putting green. If you go to my Instagram you'll see a photo of it. It's very popular. Mr Stephen Ronella, founder of this whole venture. He's always anti I golf, but me, I'm terrible black golf. But my brain needs a distraction. MM. So what do you feel like we should like? What kind of things should we build around the office to keep our minds off work? Um, we definitely need to get the kitchen up and running so we can tinker around with recipes, right, yep, tune into the tune into the meat eater platform. At some point we'll just cook ship at random times of the day and everybody should love that. It will be like on fire. Just set the little switch and go live and show that a bottle that's going on drunken mess that it will hopefully be anything else any like other awesome things. And I don't know like a new startup office should have, especially this one. We should have boatloads of taxidermy everywhere, and we should probably have bows and arrows, with the arrows having little belcrow tips that we can shoot at the taxidermy for the kill shots. That's a good point. Maybe at each other. Is that unsafe. No, I think that's fine. Okay, we can do that well. Also, we were talking about having a kegurator. Yep, I feel like that would be good. Um, pretty much anything we want at this point are lords of this tiny little domain in which we sit. Yeah, that's that's the Media Incorporate office is. Hopefully, Uh we'll soon have podcast studios and video areas where we can go live and show you what we're doing over here, and hopefully that ship is interesting. So you out there, that's that's our job. You're out there on the internet world. Uh, we would want to read it or learn about it. So tell us about your position here at Meat Eater Incorporated. So I was brought on as an assistant editor and constent creator. So my job is to work with some of the individuals that we're working with in the meters, so like April Ooki and others that are writing in and slip and bringing in pieces and going through and editing those, getting ready for the web and all of that, and then also looking for interesting stories and putting things together, whether it's out twos or recipes or what have you, and whip those up for the company and just drive that website traffic and just keep looking for interesting things going on. Yeah. See, this is at some level I think, live in the dream. Yeah, because some of the things you listed aren't like dream like scenarios. But the dream like scenario was very much that we can kind of like wake up in the morning, like I'd like to write about that, and then you dear audience out there listening can then decide whether we're good at our jobs or completely terrible at them, and that we should be We should go away and stop bothering you with this content and put all those hate comments on the on the internet. Yeah, you can do whatever you want on you as a free country. But hopefully you like the things that we come up with, the crazy ideas that we spawn in this room or room similar to it, and uh, we keep our jobs and you guys, you're entertained. I think that's an easy one. But for me as a journalist, that's pretty pretty much a dream scenario. Yeah, just wake up and research find interesting things, or take off for Kansas and go round up a bunch of interesting things there. Yeah, which is yeah, so you're leaving here tomorrow to go back to your home place or a m pushing off Oh man, you're that's hard. That's hardly gonna have to have more coffee than booze in the cop in the morning. It's a party. That's a hardy trip right there. How long a drive is that? Um, I'm gonna stop three quarters of the way down in Nebraska and do some pheasant hunting there with a buddy, and so that should only be like ten and a half hours, but with the puppy stops, that might turn into about a twelve hour situation. Hang out there for about forty eight hours and then drop down another four hours down to the little quarter section family farm and chase birds with my brother. Yeah that's pretty cool, man, Yeah, pretty cool that. See, if you can round up some white tails and spend the month, they're just kind of whipping up content. Yeah, well, I think it'd be are gonna be reading your content that we did. They need to know what the hell you know? You came from Kansas. We learned that part. You have awesome dogs. We know that we work here. We also know that, Um tell us about your upbringing. So I grew up out in northeastern Kansas on the edge of the Smoky Hills and the Flint Hills on the side bordering the Flint Hills. And I grew up on a quarter section farm hundred sixty six acres that was passed down from my great uncle. UM and Dad brought us up out there, bought my brother and I up working behind bird dogs, bucking hay bales. UM, just kind of living the little country homestead dream out there, working cattle and and doing that. So did that. Grew up through high school and played ball in high school, and then shipped off for the Army. UM shortly after signed in between my junior and senior year, and spent that time just kind of working through the reserve unit that I signed up for. And then let's not go too quick. Let's go back to when you were working on the farm. UM. I grew up in the suburbs where there was no farms. I mean there were farms, but I just hunted on them. I didn't work on them. Do you feel like you learned anything growing up on a farm, or like you have a little bit of grit you might have not had otherwise. Absolutely, part of it from the farm and part of it from my dad. He's a kind of guy that doesn't say a whole lot but when he does, it's very strong points. Yeah. Um pe he deals with people all day. He works at this little gas station mechanics shop in town, and so there's people coming in and coming out all the time, and he's just learned a way to effectively use his words to tell you to get the hell out. Um. That's usually a good dad, a good version of a dad, kind of like that old school dad. Yeah, very much so. But he's a good guy. He's got a soft heart. Um. But yeah, he's a good dude. And just one brother. Ye, one brother, Joel. You guys close, Yeah we are. We weren't so close growing up. I was kind of that an asshole older brother. Yeah. Yeah, I had one of those. Yeah. How what's the age of difference, uh six years? Yeah, okay, well I was a year and a half my brother. Yeah, we weren't really friends until we got old enough to like not be assholes to each other. Yeah. I think he's got some emotional scars from when I like pinned him down and put baby mice down a shirt. Everybody listen. He's probably better off for that. Yeah. No, my brother used to go online and back when there was like a O L and semester and I show up high like my freshman year of high school, and he was a junior, maybe your sophomore, and I'd be going to class and some young lady would approach that I had no interest in dating and be like, I can't believe here dating, I can't believe we're growing out, Like what? And it turns out my brother had hacked my well screen name and made girlfriends for me at various times. Good for him, Yeah, he's a nice I love, lovely fellow. I admire him now. But yeah, I mean that's just growing up man. Yeah, you're either doing the beating or or or seeing it. Yeah. Yeah, it's been awesome just developing that relationship with Joel and coming back to it is like at the very core of our relationship and and our father's relationship with us is hunting. It's like he barely had any time to do anything because he was hustling his ass off at the gas station and then coming home and work in the fields until like ten o'clock at night, and so we didn't see him a whole lot. But when we did, it was on Sundays and we would be walking the fields or we'd be driving around country roads with binoculars and hands and looking for deer at first and last light. And that was just how we were brought up an ingrained and so it's it's been a really cool situation. Uh, once Joel and I have gotten past all that other bullshit to share this, and I'm exceptionally excited excited to come home and have these two bird dogs and for us to walk the fields together. It would be really cool. Yeah, that's a good part of life. Man. You're in a good part of life for sure, where you can kind to return to the place where you know, having fond memories is important. Not everybody's homes gather up fond memories, but a lot of us, my mind does. I'm sure you're years does too, and um returning to those places, especially around hunting. Like I have a strong hunting bond with my dad. My brother never took it up, like just never. I think he just he was out partying and running around when I was up on Saturday mornings chasing deer. He was out chasing, yeah, chasing different kinds of tale, which is never. He never really took to it and to this day really doesn't have much interest in it. I even guess some interest in it because I do it. Like he is aware that it is something, but he's also not all fully on board with the situation and like questions things all the time like why would you shoot that fox? Or why would you do this? And um, I've come to value that part of our relationship because I spend so much time in a bubble. Sure you do as well around him. You shround yourself with people that like to do the ship you like to do. And uh, it's nice. Everyone's a while for me at least to go back and have that. But you have to get those checks and balances. So so, uh, you're in high school, you play ball, football, baseball, all all balls, pretty much everything. It was small town Kansas. We had eight hundred people in the town and so it's just like you want to play something here, you go go sign up. And then army. So that's a big stage of your life. Was it the army? Correct? Yes, Army reserves. Army reserves. So tell me about why and how on that one. Oh, there's a lot of why in that one. There's a lot of family history. It's just very rich in military. Um, so there was a big, big element of like my upbringing of looking back to my grandfather and my great grandfather, UM, and just all over in our our family tree, there's history of the military, and so that's always something that had been on my mind. But at the same time, I was also looking for opportunities because it was very much small town Kansas, not a lot of opportunities to to get out to go to college. UM didn't come from a wealthy family, and tuition was not spoken for. It was figure this out, find your way. So between all of that, the just the feeling of wanting to serve and and do something with my life that was meaningful, and also just creating that that opportunity to break out into the world and and see what I can do to give it a go. Yeah. No, that's that's an impressive thing. I mean I never had inklings of that, and I don't think I would have listened somebody told me to stand in line. I think I probably would have been kicked out pretty early on. It was it was difficult. There's a lot of teeth written in there. Yeah, particularly what was hard is for you mm hmm, Yeah, just breaking because I was just like running around like a wild child in Kansas. Just running around, mashing the accelerator down on my little pickup truck everywhere I went, and just kinda running around without cause and and then jumping in and getting that discipline. It was. It was good for me. Yeah. So what happens during your your army tenure? Did you go fight? Did you give me the full full experience? Yeah? So, like I had mentioned, I joined in between my junior senior year, so I got to have a little bit of a half step in where I went to drills and kind of learned the lay of the land before jumping on full throttle. And then after I graduated, shipped off to Fort leonard Wood, Missouri and ran through basic training there. Did that, went down to a i T which is Advanced Individual Training UM, and I was in ninety six Bravo, which was an intelligence analyst, And so did that training down in Arizona and finished up with that and then went back to Kansas to jump in a school into college and really had no fucking clue what I wanted to do with my life. I was still like fresh off the farm, having a clue, still super green, and I just did that and just kind of puttered around in school didn't do much. And then one day I was litting or laying around in my room and on my little thirteen inch TV screen I watched news clips of the planes in the towers and I was just like, oh shit, my life has just changed. And like I just got goose bumps right now thinking about it. UM, just knowing that something was going to happen at that point in time, my life was going to be different. And sure enough, two years later, our unit, which was a FOTE Movement Control battalion out of Manhattan, Kansas, we got deployed and we were in. We went basically like right behind the Marines UM, coming in from Quait into Iraq. So I spent fourteen months over there on undemployment. And I went from a small town Kansas boy with no clue about the world too rude awakening of life and politics and third World country dynamics UM and just running around the desert with a machine gun on my hip and learning this all in. Wow, how old were you then? I was twenty? So I had my twenty first birthday Jesus interact, Oh boy. And this was in this was during the Shock and all the initial invasion. So we were in Fort Riley, Kansas when the shock and all went down, But we were shipped out like very soon after that. So we were like in our deployment stages as that, like as the blasts we're going off, and then when when give me the moment prior to any you know, firefights or any Browns going off that you realized ship was about to be different, Like you was it when you got on the plane to go over or did you land and look around or what? Like? What was the realization moment? And maybe in the military training you have to be prepared with that prior. You know, we definitely were a little bit prepared for that, um but I think it was when we were on the plane and I think I think we're on a Sea one thirty flying over. I can't remember exactly, but it was a pretty eizable plane and as we were sitting there, we were loaded in wearing full battle rattle, so we had kevlar helmets on, we had our flak jackets on, We're holding our sixteens, and we were all sitting shoulder to shoulder on this little like twelve to fourteen inch cargo strap that was on the side of the plane like running down and we sat there and it was just like a complete bear airplane on the inside, and all of our gear was piled up in the middle. There's a couple of humbies in the back of the middle, and we're just sitting there for I don't even know how many, like fourteen hours or something, just looking at each other and like the freezing cold as we flew over, and I'm just like, huh, this is life uncomfortable. Yeah, um, so yeah that And then so when we dropped in, we dropped into Kuwait, which things weren't too crazy there. It was a very westernized base. Um, it was very safe and secure within the base that we were staging at for deployment. But then as soon as we got the call and we're just like we're heading boys, get your stuff, get get everything ready to go. It was jumping the humbies. And as we approached the border, that was like that was the moment. And we approached and there like the border was this big burn that was going down the line and they were just in one Abram tanks all pointed, dozens of them pointed into a rack, and at that point in time, I was just like, holy fucking shit, like what are we what are we getting into right now? Um? And yeah, that was wild. And then I was in the convoy at the very rear and my job was as a saw gunner as well to pull rear security on the convoy. So we had a lot of reports that there were attacks coming up from the rear, and it was my job to make sure that nobody came up and got after us. So I had a saw in him two four nine hanging out the back of the humby and just pointed backwards down the road making sure we didn't get hit. So I chewed on a lot of dust that day. Yeah, but you did. And do you feel how long from when you crossed the border to when you fire the first round? You know? Actually when I went over there, I never squeezed off my trigger. Really great. Yeah, So I'm I'm thankful for that, But I'm also thankful for the guys that that had to and had to do what they had to do and came back, and you know, always thinking of the guys that didn't come back and the gals that didn't come back. But I'm I'm very much blessed of the fact that I don't have that hanging over me. Um, that I'm not dealing with that. So you have friends that did or folks that's tough. Yeah, And I think from somebody like me or a lot of people listening, just you can't comprehend that, Like there's no comprehension of of that kind of stress and that environment and what that does to your perspective, let alone in your mind. Yeah, it was. There was definitely a lot of emotions to to filter through coming back after that one. Yeah, So you spent how much time in combat? I was in? Our deployment was fourteen months, so we had orders for six months and then as soon as we got over there, before we jumped in, they're just like up by the way orders changed were three six boots on ground. So wow. And so two thousand three to two thousand four we were there the entire time. Um. And so at some point you come back home, yeah, and tell us about you know, you cycled through, You've done your time, You've done your fourteen months, and then it's time to come home. What's that like? That? That was wild. That was a lot to digest and filter through and marinate on. And just all the things that I saw over there, all the things that I felt over there. Um, it was wild. It took me a long time to to get through all of that, and I basically came home to Kansas, went back to Manhattan, UM, and was just really wasn't sure what to do with my life at that point, really didn't have any direction. I was just knowing that I needed to go through everything that i'd i'd felt and saw and all of that and somehow figure it out out. And so I was there, and then about three months down the line, I had a buddy came back that had moved to Colorado, and he's just like, what the hell are you still doing in Kansas? Like, let's go. So a week later I packed up my car and I moved outside of Breckon Ridge. And for the next jo i'd say like thirteen years, I spent my time bouncing in between Colorado and Mexico and just just try to enjoy life, just get back to happiness and and getting back to a better person and and figuring that out. But it was it was definitely a long journey along the way. Yeah, are there any um stories you want to tell from being over there? You feel like would inform folks about what it was like? Like some you know, you don't have to tell something if you don't want to, but there might be something that I always wondered if it's even worth telling what actually happened, other than you know, folks understand the fall before and they understand you know, violence and those types of things. But there's was there any seminal moments for it over there that you know, give you some positive look on it or just an overly negative look back on it. I'd say, like the one thing that stands out in my mind that like when I think back to memories over there, that like it comes like first and foremost for me is we were out on a convoy and we had to go into Baghdad for this deal and we had to go through this section called I. E. D Alley. It was just like notorious, and like my job in the unit was an intel analyst, and so I was in charge of tracking all the attacks that happened on the highways, figuring out who was doing it, why they were doing it, and briefing that to our commanders. So I was very involved in like what was going on. So we were going through the section called I. D Alley, and I very much knew like the ship that went down there. It's just people were getting blown up right and left, and so we rolled through and pushed through, and we like had guns hanging out the window, just waiting for something to pop off. Never did um. And then about thirty minut it's later, we had swung around, finished what we needed to do, and we're coming back down the other side and there was a Humby sitting there smoldering that had just been blown up, so meaning that we had driven over an I E. D. And they chose not to press the trigger at that moment. And seeing like the black smoke rolling and knowing that there was people inside, soldiers inside, and like that was just that shook me down to the core. Yeah, but it did. Yeah. We had a gentleman by the name of Omar A Villa. He was a sergeant in the army. On probably maybe ten episodes ago seven episodes to go to the podcast, he spoke about the same thing. He was blown up in an I D attack and he lost, you know, and maybe in the same spot you're talking about, because he spoke about it in that same terminology like I D Alley. Look, this is the place where he knew that there was a lot of that going on, and he was blown up, and Um had third degree burns the most of his body and lost a leg and Um lost most of most of the fingers on both his hands and went through his gun and still going through hundreds of surgeries. Now today, you know and like that that story and even yours, you know, from an outside perspective, not having been lucky enough not to go through that, but being so close to it is. Yeah, like you feel this overwhelming amount of like thankfulness that you didn't just get blown up. But then you look and you're just like, holy sh it, somebody else did. And then you just like have this weight of guilt laying on you. And it's it's, I don't know, it's it's tough to to describe, like the that feeling. It's random, Yeah, the randomness of life. Yeah. Yeah. I heard somebody try and describe that on a sports regarding like a baseball game the other day, and I thought, how shallow was Like, just at the moment I heard it, I thought, well, anything could happen at any time, and and one little thing is different and we win the game. I thought, Uh, all right, that's that's life. But in those situations, those those things way that's circumstantial, the consequences way heavier. No, even the circumstantial occurrences like that, like you drive over I D and the guy doesn't hit the button or isn't sitting by it's sitting by the button. Then the next guy doesn't he and it does and it changes in that that those things changed just not your life, but many many, many lives just in those small decisions. So I'm glad they didn't blow you up. Yeah, me too. Yeah, what it sucked for everybody. Um so you're back. You go back, and you're doing Colorado in Mexico. Um, you spent a lot of time outside, I imagine. Oh yeah, So when I came back, I had kind of like bounced around a little bit trying to figure out what I was gonna do. And then one New Year's Eve, I just made a little pack to myself to follow happiness and jumped into that. And then when I first came over it first came back, I was a white water raft guy down in Buena Vista and Brown's Canyon, and I had a hell of a time and then I left that. Because we're basically surviving off of PB are peanut butter. I was like, I gotta do something else. Every other kid that age yep, sleeping out of my car down on some ranchers land out there. It was an amazing time. Um. But I went back and got involved in the white water industry and was like kayaking and paddle boarding and surfing river waves and just having an absolute blast doing that. And so I chased that around for a while and ended up learning how to surf, and then going down and ended up going down to Mexico a couple of times. Once lived down in San Jose Docabo and ran a paddle board and surf shop down there and got to go out and surf for lunch and after work, and that was amazing. Um. And then came back up, kicked around Colorado for a while. I went back down there a second time, was amazing. I took my brother that time. I bought a camper van and the dog that I had before bomb or this black lab and we just road tripped the whole way down on this white Cambra van. So it's like the dream, Yeah, it's like, but it was funny. In the little Ford Econo line one fifty or whatever, and there's like me, I'm six ft about one ninety my brother six four two twenty and then a black lab and we had no room in this and we were like sleeping in there and there's black dog hair everywhere. Every meal, we're like pulling dog hair out of Yeah, it's almost like a Patagonian commercial, like a modern The funny thing about this is is I watched a hundred eighty degree South, so that and not just like screw Colorado for a while, I'm going to Mexico. Well, I mean, you know, the benefit of going through, you know, some pretty scarring events in battle, I think maybe help you find a little bit of what you were, you know, like just go like there was some live in the moment, because you certainly get to realize in those situations at moments that don't always laugh like every moment is precious. Yep. There's a lot of that, and there's just like a lot of confidence of the things you can do us you go through so much that tests you mentally and physically. You're like, I'm gonna go live in a van in Baja for four months and just wing it and I don't know, like a lick of Spanish, I know, I e d s down there. Nope. Now, I'm pretty big on perspective for sure, and I think, um, everybody's perspective is different, of course, based on their experiences, but there are certain experiences in your life that provide the ultimate perspective. And there's not a lot of people that have what you know, that the perspective you have and then came out of it clean at least physically came out of it clean. And and is that perspective something you still use today daily basis? Yeah, absolutely, I'm always trying to pursue passion and work to fulfilling like a just living a really good life, um, you know, and just just trying to live the best life I can um and staying within the realms of passion and not that's brought me pretty much to where I am here today. It's just kind of falling exactly like what my heart and what my gut tells me to do, and and keep investing in myself and investing in little bearded bird. Dugs thrown around with, Yeah. No, So then you know, after that time in your life you decided to move to Montana and then he told me just basically because you thought there was some opportunity here, and you thought the hunting and fishing world was where you wanted to stake your claim and kind of worked out where he didn't it. Yeah, I did, you know. I had left Colorado and bounced to Utah for a little bit to some fly fish guiding, and then came back and did a little white tail hunting with my brother. And it was just kind of this this deal of figuring out hunting again because I took a lot of time off after coming back from war. Just like the whole thought and idea of killing just wasn't I wasn't in the and mentally in the place to to get after that. So I spent a little bit of time away from it to the tune of about ten years, and just really did some soul searching of what that meant for me before I got back into it. And I'm really glad that I did that and took my time, and it's thankful that I had that core of going around in the fields with my dad and my brother and Jason birds and yeah, yeah, I mean, was it was that the aversion to hunting during that time? Was that a visual thing or was it a just a philosophical like I've seen death and I don't want to participate or what. Do you have a take on what that really was for you? Yeah, I was, Yeah, it was the aspect of taking life that I just I wasn't comfortable with. Um just like well, it was just like the whole thought of killing, Like as soon as I thought of like killing it, like you know, like the crisp bodies that I saw that were like blackened and tarred up and all of that. It's just like that's what killing brought into my head, Like no matter if it was hunting or any sort of deal, and shows this mental imagery that came into it. And it took a little bit a while to like filter through that and figure out what everything meant to me. And and now I'm in a really good place in it. Yeah, I'm sure that takes some time to get through. Yeah, it's not a small thing. I've I've heard a lot of veterans talk of bounce. Well, there's two things. One is what you're talking about, right. The killing becomes you know, less palatable for lack of a better term, or killing becomes this um, you know, this negative force in your life and you don't want to you know, you want to eliminate that negative force or or those things with The second thing I've heard is that that like time spent outside, the solitude of mountains, the what wildered, the focus and the intensity of being in the wilderness. Like those types of things, the bonds that you are similar from from those of you know, your your combat, your patriots and combat are similar to those that you go outside and have adventures with. Like did you was going outside still something that heals you while you were getting to the point where killing was then get okay for you? Yeah? Absolutely, That's That's what Colorado was for me, getting out there and just exploring the mountains and exploring some of my family roots in western Colorado and chasing adventure out there. It was. It was very healing for me, and it's it did me a lot of a lot of good to get out there and just be free and be in the mountains and and have that solace. Yeah, it's I've always struggled with that personally as just conceptually or just as a you know, kind of as an ideology of you know, taking veterans outside to kill things as a way to either it's not a reward, but as a way to um, you know, distract them or to take a you know, to give them something to draw all away from their negative experiences. I think it's something to focus in on. It's like it's a mission for them. And like I was very much the same way. I always needed like something I could just dive wholeheartedly into and just engulf myself in. And that's that's what hunting was when I was growing up. That's what the action sports that I was working on in Colorado. Um. I mean, when you're like class four, class five kayaking, you've got to be in the moment. And that was a blast doing that. And then you know, coming back here and now I'm in this place where I'm like creeping around in the woods and calling bulls and chasing ran animals with a stick and a bow and there's just a bow and arrow, and that's very much the same way. It's just it's been a great journey getting to there. Yeah, I mean that's uh, you're you know, if if we're all lucky, we're not that far away through a lot of years left. But it sounds to me like those those years may have been tough, but those were important years of your life. UM. And I think the last podcast or one of the previous ones, we talked Adam green Tree, and Adam had similar or not. You know, he never had your experiences, but he had some traumatic experiences growing up and talked a lot about those traumatic experiences being um. What drives him, like what allows him not to um, not to be lazy? What provides you know, the drive to get things done and his his inner voice. It's like that we're just not gonna quit on this because we're just not going to there's no option to quit. You got that perspective of what it looks like back there. Yeah, it's like I don't want to go back there. I don't have any desire to go back there. I'm not going back there. And while I'm here, in the place that's better than there, I'm going to succeed and I'm not gonna accept no for any answer. Yeah. Absolutely. So that's an important perspect and I think there's it's lost in a lot of people in our society today. And you got it in probably not a a desirable way, but you got it nonetheless, you know, I found it one way or another thing. Yeah, I mean, I think sometimes it's very trivial that I would I come on this podcast and talk about you know, I went hunting and I learned all these things, and now I'm a better person and I have perspective that I was playing like it's playing these are this is playground. Sometimes you go outside, um, not that it doesn't allow, you know, when I went to Nepal or when I've gone to New Zealand and spend time outside doing very hard things. That's perspective of gaming. But I'm still playing. Yeah, still playing. But it's as long as you're getting out there and you're looking for the lessons to be like that's that's the big thing, instead of just taking it all for granted and just running around doing your thing. Man, No, you're right about that too. And now but yeah, I think I always and talking to guys like you and you know, folks like Omara Vila and and even if you you know, in a very different way, Adam green Tree, that struggle, real struggle, you know, inescapable struggle, like non voluntary involuntary struggle. Yeah, it's coming whether you wanted, it's telling, whether you wonder or not. It's in your face. It's just a different you know if if humans were mold, it was just it's just a different you're cut out of a different mold. You're you're shaped from a different thing. And um, and you had you know, you had a choice, but once you're there, you had no choice. Once you were in it, you had no choice. And so, um, I just I would just say that, I it's something that I respect and something that you know, I'm not. I don't wish that I had that, but I know, oh that there's still a lot of good that comes from it. Yeah, even though that it even though that it's can be a you know, negative force to think about. And you know, as you look back on it, but you're here today, I mean, you don't incorporated after all that ship. Yeah, living a pretty good life right now. Yeah. Um, so a couple of podcasts ago, I'd say, well, it's only just ninely a month ago now. Um. We when we launched the company, we talked about our Y and I think we've probably covered a lot of your Y already. We've kind of gotten to the Y. But I think every employee of this company has especially when something's new, you have the opportunity to really, you know, you rightly give it what ninth employee, tenth employee or something like that like that. Yeah, pretty small team right now. Um, we just added two dogs. We have ten plus two. Um, but we have the opportunity to really get up in the morning and say why am I doing this? Because we're not We're not cogs in a wheel. We're not you know, button pushers or leverpoolers, were not going to the factory and working on the line. We are in positions where we can chart our course in whatever way that it makes sense for us. So what's you know? What is your why today after going through what you've been through and coming out on the other end. Good question. Um, Yeah, I don't let you off of the bullshit podcast talk. We're going deep color. We're going deep here on the hunting collective. We always do. I would say, looking back with hunting, looking at hunting as far as I can a lifestyle and industry to dive into, um and to pursue it's with hunting itself. It's become this connection based thing for me. Where so thankful that I have the upbringing that I did and being able to understand the connection to the dirt and the animals and the chemical composition of everything and like being so grounded, like going out and killing these animals but then eating them and becoming like not to sound to Granola, but like becoming one with the land and like filling that absolute connection. It's this primal thing that is it's so hard to describe, but it's I'm so thankful for of of feeling that and seeing that, and and knowing that I've got that connection to the earth and how that makes me feel mentally, and like how fulfilled I become with that, and and it's just this, man, it's not like a loss for words of how to describe it. But that's probably a good thing. It's probably the best way to describe at the loss of verbs. But yeah, I mean it's yeah, it's just going out there and it's it's fulfillment. Is is an incredible way to describe it that I can see and just becoming it's like it's been kicked around the office here, but it's it's true. It's becoming a better person because of it, and that's what I'm looking for in life. And sitting around last winter with my brother while we're chasing white tails and just kicking back on the sofa, and watching Meat Eater and just like having conversations about what Steve's talking about and know they're like I'm pushing forward in this realm. And then having it all come like circle to being here in the office and working with you and Steve and and being a part of these conversations. Is that's just I'm so happy to be here. Yeah, and we're happy to have you know. I think that's important. And there's a big part of me that's like, I'm it's just a regular dude, And there's this big part of me that it's wonders why I can't just get on the podcast and talk about calibers and talk about let's talk about seven mill or six man. I'm a Jack O'Connor fan there, six baby. Well, yeah, I mean I think there's part of me the wonders why that. And there's a part of me that that is honestly and openly wondering whether trying to balance like the virtue signaling that can go on, like just saying the right thing because that gets the best reaction, but then really truly believing what I'm saying or what I'm writing. And so I think that's in this day and it's essentially the struggle that we all have to go through to make sure we're openly and honestly delivering our message in a way that the best way that we can. Not everybody's gonna like it. You can't. You really can't change your wife for someone else, but really make sure your why is true and honest and not just some semblance of talking points that the advertisers are paying for. Yeah, that or this company came up with even you know or or like you said, it's something that you post on social media, everybody really likes. That can't then become your thing. You have to say down and decide what you want to do and then go and do it and hope it works for everyone else. And in the case of you know, editors at a company like this one, I really hope everybody takes to it, doesn't think you're full of it, that you're an idiot, um you're and and some folks, you know, Steve's really great at just being Steve Man and not let anybody else into that would wreck that. And and that's a huge piece of why I was so eager to jump on board is because of the truth and like not chasing bullshit of what needs to be said for this or that. It's just it's truth and story and character and yeah, just like the whole psychology of it all. Yeah, it's a hell of an opportunity to to get get down to communicate with everybody that likes to do what we like to do and make them better. They make us better, and that's what really, that's what really like content should be about. I think I'm pretty sure we're going to try it anyway, betting on it. I'm betting that it's true. I'm betting that you know, you and I could sit in this little room here with these dogs and shoot the ship and talk about you know, sometimes talk about what calibers are the best, but a lot of times talk about like how we can you know, take other folks that are in this company that are creating content to shape them in a way that makes sense right and tell them, hey, look this is let's make sure we go back to our why every once in a while and then then re examine what what we're doing this for and why we're doing the creating content and yeah, man, we've gotta make money, but we're not here to sell widgets, sail or snake oil or here to to inform and educate and entertain people and do it in a way that's honest, and and do those things in you know, in the public forum where we're putting our ship out there and hoping that people like to, you know, click on it. So please, everybody, we're begging you. We need to feed the puppies. The puppies are hungry. They're not sleeping right now. Yep, they've been sleeping through this whole podcast. They don't even care. I love them. Do they come in here? Opinion comes in here and just rolls right on the concrete and as he goes to sleep, and then all the ladies of the office make cooing noises and pet him. And he loves that ship too, as all dogs do. He's got to dial in. Man. He's got the life. He's with six months old right, just about six and a half months old, half well, and every office needs a dog like that. I'm glad we have one. So what are you looking forward to meeting? Or? Inc wise, now that I'm glad, everybody that listens to this podcast hopefully can get to, you know, introduced to you and who you are and what you're about. And start to read your stuff and experience the content you're gonna be able to create. But like, what's what's the thing do you look forward to? The thing that I like chasing are the characters, like the folks that are out there, the the unknown stories of just some very eccentric individual and their life and what that looks like and a deeper look into it and into their why. And that's that's always been something that I've been fascinated with and have done a little bit here and there, and definitely hoping that I can jump into that here. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you know, we're part of the same generation. And I would say, are we what generation? Are we generation X y Z. We're millennials, dude, Yeah, we're at the very beginning stage. We're like early on millennials. Um. I think our millennial generation that we're a part of is a lot about a lot about themselves, like a lot about me, not even a selfish me, but just that's kind of the content you see on social media. It's like turning that came around the point towards you. Yeah, that's the deal, right, That's what people do. So that's why I agree with you, and I'm not doubting anybody who likes to turn the camera on themselves. That's totally fine, awesome and many and many aspects of freaking awesome. But I'm with you man, my journalistic um tendencies and in the that part of my mind is excited to explore, you know, with a platform, with a bigger platform that we can all share explore some those people, you know, I've been able to, even through the short time of this podcast, talked to like rabbit hunters from Maryland and the kyote hunters from Texas and Cody Act bear guides and freaking famous Australian dudes and just all I mean, you know, Steve Ronella, CEOs of huge corporations, like all kinds of stuff. And that's not it's not that it's not that they're all one type of guests, but they're just interesting people with their own stories to tell, and all those stories kind of are grounded at hunting and what hunting is about for all these people and hopefully you learn something along the way with that. So happy to add you into that group of people. Yeah. Absolutely, Oh, I don't think, um, you know, I don't think it's important that when you start creating concept for the come been and you had out the Kansas that people know everything about your life, but it's good for them to have some background on who you are, little idea, a little idea of what's going on, what's rattling around your old brain? There? Good Kansas. Um, you're gonna kill a big white tail. You guys got any like trail cam images of giant bucks? Um, we don't have any trail cam images. I've got my brothers down there. He lives there, um, and he's had eyes where has been told from a family friend of a decent one sixty class it's running around. Then we're gonna try and get after. That's nice. You guys hunting field edges? What's the what's the situation there? Um? A little bit more timber, yeah, Um, I mean everything is kind of field edges there. There's just strips of tember running through a little creek bottoms and and that stuff. But it's definitely borderlined with with agg everywhere. I gotta tell you, I'm how many white tail tangs are I eating in Kansas? Or like five of them or something like that. I've never killed a white tail in Kansas that I can remember. Over Oklahoma. Sure, Texas great the words gotten out on Kansas. Those white tails are getting pressured, yeah, man, for sure, and they know how to become ghosts. I feel like I've hund it all around that state, and I've never had any luck with white tails for whatever reason, I don't know why. Yeah, my brother got a really nice from last year, a thick body. I mean he shot a horse of a white tail. Uh. A white tail is still my favorite thing, man. I don't know. It's something about but we leave in Montana. This place is a paradise for growing outside. I mean a freaking paradise. There's always something going on. People who live here so fucking spoiled. It's a good place to be. That's very much part of why I wanted to be here too. Yeah, I mean it's just it's a gluttony of outside things to do. But for whatever reason, sitting in the timber and here in that and knowing it's coming up, nine times out of ten it's a squirrel walking up. I hate squirrels for that reason. Um, you had or a raccoon or some or a dough anything, what what you're actually there to shoot? But yeah, you can visually see your chest pocket like balancing out of your chest because your heart rates going up. Yeah. And I've killed lots of deer in that scenario and still to this day, that's the moment. I last year hunt in Iowa and Illinois and killed a buck in Illinois and Iowa with John Dudley, and I'd spent most of the year hunting in all these crazy places. But he filmed me. And when I shot this deer or it wasn't like some two buck. I mean, it's barely one fifty. I look like, you know, all the stand pots when he used to shoot his white tails, want eye fishing, one eye cut in bait, That's what I look like. I was looking up at other holy should away showy yet and it was just an archery buck that I shot him. And it wasn't you know, I just said, it wasn't any giant that anybody would have overly impressed by. But what for whatever reason that experienced every time freaking makes me go nuts? Yeah I can. It's probably because how I grew up, so you get to go do it, you bast yep. Yeah, I And like the great part about where I grew up is is it's a little wildlife mecca down in Wakefield, Kansas. There's a little river that comes in called the Republican River. Tell everybody where it is. Everybody knows there's a huge lake there too. Um, and so we've got amazing waterfowl hunting there as well snowshine and bottoms by any means. But it's a it's a great little refuge. Yeah, I mean you've got there's a lot there. Yeah, there's that that culture, That Midwestern culture is one that I enjoy ship tone because it's really that just back forty buddies farm. You know, everybody gets together, communal type of life. I mean it's it's same here. It's just you gotta walk a lot further. Yeah, It's it's something special back there for me because I had two sets of great grandparents in that town growing up, and so our family just knew everybody is. It's a small town and so it's just you want to go hunt that field. You want to go hunt that field. Absolutely. What does your about your family say about your new new gig slash life in Montana? Because when I go home, I get like certain comments. I mean my dad is just like nice cool. Yeah, really that probably means like, yes, yeah he should. Well no, last year, he's just like, you're telling me you get to go hunt and fish for work, you son of a bitch. It's like, I'm your son. Does there many sense? My dad's my dad? My early my career, my dad did say ship like that. But now he's just like malaise. He's like, oh yeah they're hunt there. That's great for you. Congratulations. Yeah, so he's pretty pumped about it. Mom's happy for me, Like, dude, like ants and uncles be like, who's that Stephen Renowly tell me about him? He's on the Netflix. He's crazy. Yeah, that's what I get. Like, my dad calls, well, now, my dad, I think corrected it. H Ronnelli is like Renelly, it's Renelly, Steve renow I'm surprised it's not like Scott Ronnelly. But yeah, my mom will say that it's Reelly. It's Ronnelli. There he in the office, the Renelly. Can you see him from the TV? Yes? Mom, I got a lot of buddies asking me what's he like, what's he like, what's he like off the camera? What's should just make stories up? Oh man rarely, if ever wears a shirt. He's got a one seven five a beam and he just walks around the tattoos, I mean full tattoos. You don't notice on the TV show Full Tattoos, they just put makeup over the face tattoos on Netflix. Well that's good man. I'm glad you're going home. Yeah, enjoy that. Uh, hopefully everybody can tune in or to or read or watch the content you're going to create for for our company doing a little bit of all of that for sure. Enjoy all of that and uh now and in the future too. So click on the old meat Eater dot com and there you'll find me and Morgan and Kenyan and Ronella and Folky and a whole bunch of other talented folks in the months hopefully years to come, great years years to come. So thanks for falling along as we build this and appreciate you sharing your story. Dude. Yeah, absolutely, thanks for having me. That's it. That's all episode number thirty five in the books. Thanks to Morgan, Thanks to our Low and Pinion two pups for hanging out for a great podcast on Austin day in the Meat Eator offices here in Bozeman, and so hopefully enjoyed that story. I know I did. Hopefully you can take your time to read Morgan's articles on the meat Eator dot com and follow along as his journeys he starts to create content for us, all his story and and give give all of you a little insight into his expertise and his life as a hunter, angler and a person who enjoys going outside. So until next time, please go to the meat Eater dot com as we said, and go to the listen tap, and there you'll find this podcast all its episodes. You'll find all of the Meat Eater episodes, of course goes without saying, but you'll also find Mark Kenyan Wired to Hunt. You will find anchored with April Folkey, and you'll find a ship ton of articles to read about wild foods, about conservation, and about hunting and fishing and how to be better at all of it. And so if that's not enough, if you still need more stuff to do, go and sign up for the newsletter. The Meat Eater newsletter comes out every Wednesday morning and it is all things meat Eater related. So for now, that's all I have, but that should keep you busy until next two to day when we'll be back with another episode of This Year podcast, so thank you for joining. We'll see you then. Bye, m hm hm