The Gnome

The forest grew darker and damper the deeper the Gnome rode up the winding, worn logging road. He sat atop his trusty mule, Thelma, pulling Louise behind them with empty saddlebags upon her back. Their big ears twitched at every suspicious snap in the woods. He took in a deep breath of mountain air...

Gnome life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. You think sitting around all day in a garden is fun? I spent the first 16 years of my life up to my waist in mulch, standing watch by the petunias across from the bird bath. The gnome race was once the guardians of great treasures and precious gems—you...